OPEN LETTER

September 1, 2008

To the Angels and Fairies who watch over me:

You have watched over me for nearly 30 years now, and you have seen me safely from here to there. Oh, yes, there have been accidents, disasters and tragedies, strife and discord, but I am safe because you have loved me. I’ve never seen you, but I know you’re there. I am gambling the success of this letter on the hope that you are reading over my shoulder, guiding my hand across the paper, as it were.

I am asking you now, on bent knee, not just to play a role, but to actively participate in the change of my life. I am praying that you can help me unleash powers that I know are dormant within me. I want to be able to see outside the physical world, into lives I never knew I lived, to see others the way only a very few others can. I know that I am powerful and strong; few others care or understand. Now is the time for me to get my hands dirty, to take charge of my life and how it is lived. I am calling on all of you who watch over and love me to help me do it.

You have heard me weep bitterly over my perceived weaknesses and seeming powerlessness over my own life. Now is the time for me to change that. Please take my hand and lead me down the path that will lead me to freedom. The path I’ve been down leads only to suffering, pain, disease and their foot soldiers. I can’t go on much longer down this path. I am praying, as hard as I have ever prayed in my life, for a miracle. Every human being has to have one sooner or later—please let me have mine.

I’ll do my part; I’ll co-create and do the legwork. But I need the strength and the courage to do it; please, Angels and Fairies, grant me that strength. I’ll sweat and toil, but I need your help to make the breeze feel cooler. Most importantly to me, please help me forgive myself. I can’t even tell you the number of mistakes that I’ve made that I can never live down, in work and in life. Please grant me the serenity to live with my humanity and the ability to forgive myself.

Please read these words. Please do not forsake me now, when I need you all the most. Help me to know that I am safe, protected and loved; that I am perfect just as I am, blemishes and all. Please allow me to feel as you do, always and forever.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

It is done, it is done, it is done.

Amen.


Very truly yours,

Matthew McIlvain