PLAINTIVE SHOUT

Physically, I’m grown-up.

But mentally, spiritually, truthfully

I don’t think I’ve grown.

I go looking for people, places and things

To empower me and make me strong.

But I still have no power

And no strength.

I feel misguided.

Aimless.

Feeling for a light switch

In a pitch-black room.

I should be married

And have a child.

I should have a good house

In a nice neighborhood.

And I should be driving

A decent car.

But I’m not, and I don’t.

Why?

What did I do wrong?

How did I screw this up?

So many more men my age

Are doing so much better

And have done greater things.

I haven’t even had my first kiss.

I need to devote myself

To something,

To someone,

To anything,

To anyone.

I can’t be living alone in a

House trailer

When I’m 42.

I can’t go through the rest of my life

Like a lion in a cage,

Unwilling to stay,

Unable to leave.

This is my prayer.

This is my hope.

I need help.

Someone help me.

Anyone.

Will you help me?

Please?