Thank God I Am Not A Journalist

I don't normally do this, Reader. But as a prerequisite to reading this, I want you to read this interview of Isabelle Huppert in this past Sunday's Independent. Much of this consists of Huppert being heroically tolerant and protective of her privacy while Robert Chalmers peppers her with leading and side-door questions like he fancies himself Bill O'Reilly. Here it is:

Isabelle Huppert: 'I don't have a reputation for being difficult' - Features, Films - The Independent

When I first read this piece, last night about this time, it was as much of a peak experience as fans of Huppert have when seeing her newest film, thrilling to everything she says and does. However, the more I thought about it, the more I thought of George Carlin. In When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, Carlin reeled off his list of favorite actors, names like Hackman, Pacino, de Niro among others. George then said something that made me thank God I never became an interviewer: "They're actors, not celebrities. You don't see them all the time on TV. They don't cooperate with Access Hollywood or Entertainment Tonight. They keep to themselves. That's why their work is so good. Good for them." If George Carlin looked down from Heaven and saw how Isabelle Huppert conducted herself for the Independent, he'd doubtless grin from ear to ear.

And then, I thanked God that I did not become an interviewer of celebrities. I don't think there are very many public personalities I'd meet and not need a dentist's bib to catch the drool. But I wouldn't want to be a guy like Robert Chalmers seems to be; his aggressiveness and determination, while admirable among his peers, is off-putting to a layman like me.

And that leads me to my larger point. I wanted to be a journalist when I was younger. I wanted to be in a newspaper, and possibly be a film critic in the end. The more I heard and read about people like David Bloom, Kimberly Dozier and Bob Woodruff, the less I wanted to be on the front lines. I'd see all of these investigative journalists and suchlike spit questions like fireballs from a dragon's mouth at people who just as soon wouldn't want to talk to them, and I'd be agog.

A couple of years ago, I was visiting my father in suburban Philadelphia, which is where I am from, and he revealed that he was secretly glad I did not become a journalist. That's when it all coalesced. And I thought, "He's so right. Thank God I came to poetry. Thank God I am not a journalist." As alluring as it may have been to be a crusader, travelling all over the world, uncovering conspiracies and cover-ups and suchlike, deep down, I believe the price would have been so outrageously high to pay. I would never have been the beautiful soul people say I am today. I don't think I would have a soul.

And I believe I would end up like Robert Chalmers, pissing off legends like Isabelle Huppert.