Pledge Drives Suck!

I came home tonight, flicked on the teevee and tried to find something mildly tolerable while I ate the "food" from "Burger King". I found a very interesting documentary on PBS about Luciano Pavarotti. I was enraptured, entranced, remembering all the reasons I loved, and still love, Pavarotti. And then the phone number for my local public teevee station showed up on the screen. The spell was broken, and the program interrupted, by two people asking me in their most earnest voice to support the teevee station by pledging membership. Two hundred dollars they wanted to take away from me; in return, I could have the DVD of the Pavarotti Documentary and a two-CD set of his greatest performances that I could get for twenty dollars in any store, if I look hard enough.

Pledge drives suck.

Hear me now, believe me when I'm six feet under. Public broadcasting isn't going anywhere, folks, any more than classical music and opera and orchestras are going anywhere anytime soon. Let 'em hold all the "pledge drives" they want; let 'em hold hostages for all I care. But when those two words "pledge" and "drive" join forces, that's your cue to switch to another station. And don't get all excited about the phrase "membership campaign"; it's a mere euphemism. There is always, always, and always going to be a Sesame Street, Nova, Wild America on your teevee. And Pavarotti, Miles Davis, Renee Fleming, and Sarah Vaughan are always going to be as close as the low end of the FM dial. Nothing can ever happen to PBS or National Public Radio. That being said, I'd pay money never to have to hear Morning Edition, All Things Considered, and especially Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me ever again.

Pledge drives really suck.

Back to Pavarotti: When my bliss was interrupted, I could not help but notice that one of the two people asking me for my money was a lady named Midge Woolsey. Here's why I feel sorry for her: Until about seven months ago, because the station Midge works for, WQXR-FM in New York, was a commercial radio station, she never, to the best of my knowledge, had to partake of a pledge drive. Since WQXR has gone all the way up the dial from 96.3 to 105.9 and become a public radio station, Midge has now had to participate in a pledge drive in both teevee and in radio. What a shame. By the way, would it have been too much trouble, if my local teevee station was going to hold a pledge drive, to have somebody from my local teevee station beg, plead and grovel for money? This way, Midge Woolsey and the big chin she was with would never have to be bothered and I could listen to Pavarotti in peace.

Pledge drives really, really suck.