A Softening

There is a softening

that takes place

in the blood, the bones

and the skin

when one swims in

the warmest waters

and walks in the humid air.

There is a softening

of the heart

when forgiveness is offered

and when it is granted.

When someone's skin

sets upon yours

declaiming love for you

do you not feel soft?

Safe?

Loved, honored, and protected?

There is a softening

when we forget the

worries and wars

of the world

and turn inward,

to find deep

and abiding love.

The softer we feel,

the more loving

and loved we are

and the more peaceful

the world around us is.

After all,

the wings of angels

are not comprised of

steel and stone,

but of kindness, sweetness

and love.

I think this is how

we get to heaven--

by softening.

ALL OR NOTHING

All dressed up
With nowhere to go.

All these thoughts and ideas
But no sounding board.

All these emotions and feelings
And no shoulders broad enough
For them.

So many assets
That I can’t spend.

This plethora of wonderful things
I must do alone.

I want it all.
I need it all.
I can’t shout into the vacuum forever.

Give me your all,
As I do.

Or give me nothing.

To Elizabeth

I hope you had a splendid trip, Elizabeth.
What will happen now that you're Up There?

Will you see your father up there
consorting with Dali & Van Gogh?

Will Michael do a pirouette
spangling in his sequined suit?

Is Eddie crooning
and making teenyboppers swoon
while snapping his Magic Fingers?

Is Richard waiting for you
so he can love you again
as your angels must have intended?

Will you twinkle and sparkle
in white diamonds?

Do you know how many people
who loved you so much
who will be so happy
to see you?

Let us know what it's like up there, Elizabeth.
Give us a sign you're okay.
We loved you so much.
Perhaps too well.

Our star is a little dimmer, Elizabeth.
But Heaven is far, far brighter.

TIME OUT OF MIND*

My back against the wall

Of a heated swimming pool.

Alone with my thoughts.

The chatter inside my mind

Growing fainter and fainter

Until the only noise in my head

Is of a whispered prayer for peace.

My eyes close as the warm water

Seeps into my bare skin.

I open them

And the world seems different.

War, famine, and bedlam

Have all set with the sun.

All that’s left is this dark paradise;

The candles, the pool, the crickets,

And me.

And now, you join me.

Our energies will make this moment

Truly timeless.

*to Cathy Braun

JUST

I just happened

To think of you

Just now.

I just wanted to be

In your embrace

Just below the covers.

I just felt

The glow inside of you.

Oh, how happy it makes me.

I just closed my eyes

And saw the twinkle

In yours.

I just think

Everything is just

So much nicer

With you.

I just have to

Find you.

God's Smile

Stopped for a light

on a quiet intersection

I rub my eyes.

And when I blink,

I see His smile.

A perfectly round,

wordless,

immaculate smile.

A smile without eyes

or a face.

I blink again,

and I still see His smile.

It could only be God.

He wants me to know that

He loves me.

Exquisitely, perfectly,

and without regret.

The light turns, and I

drive on.

God has smiled upon me this day.

He didn't have to, but He did.

His smile will never leave

my soul, even during its

darkest night.

When God smiles,

all my words

are futile

to state his grace.

Racehorse

pawing at the dirt.
biting my lip.
champing at the bit.

waiting for the jarring
of the bell
to open the gate.

ready to charge
like a screaming soldier
with a bayonet
from the metal
constriction.

twenty others like me
know how I feel.
just as hungry.
just as desperate.

racing for a glory
that we can only
hint at.